Experiences Lifestyle Parenting

Life in Lockdown

Things have changed so much in the last few months. Our ideas of normality have fully shifted. Even simple shopping trips, or visiting family, have become impossible or difficult.

Now, at a point where bubbles can be created with single adults, I want to look back at everything.

Feena has been learning at home. I’m not a teacher, nor will I ever be. She has been trying so hard. Her handwriting is beautiful. Her spellings are coming on in leaps and bounds. We are working on maths.

Now the weather is picking up, we want to start our walks at Staunton again. Getting out and seeing nature is also important to a child. She still gets excited when we spot a deer or squirrel.

Living in lockdown has been so peculiar. People haven’t seen their loved ones in months. I spend most mornings simultaneously working while speaking to Mum.

She hasn’t seen us since February.

Thanks to this bubble thing, we now can see her. I swear, I’m going to hug that woman so tight. I have no idea how she has dealt with the solitude all these months.

On the plus side, this lockdown also gave me time to consider my options. It enabled me to pursue my writing. I now have a few regular clients which is a great step in the right direction. To be able to work from home, have a career I enjoy, and be able to parent Feena, is all I could ever want.

Feena has found it fairly difficult. She longs to spend time with her friends, to see her teachers, to regain some semblance of her former life.

She is getting used to the rules. She knows to avoid people, and will step back. She asks questions about the situation.

And she expresses her frustration and how much she hates it all.

Soon enough, this will be over, and things will go back to the way they once were, but she will remember this for years to come. The months she spent at home.

We have argued. It isn’t natural for two people to spend every waking moment together for months on end. Everyone needs space from each other.

We get frustrated and annoyed, but we are still strong.

Would I change these months? No, I don’t think so. While we have had some crummy days, overall I have gotten to see how brilliant and clever my girl is, as well as to spend some quality time together.

Schools will be fully functional soon, meaning this opportunity will be lost. There will be no beach trips or walks in the park simply because we feel like it. If we tried, the good old fines would be back in place to stop us.

In a way, the finality of this period is a good thing. It means we have to make the most of the time while we have it.

Coronavirus is a nightmare. It’s an evil, evil illness that has hurt so many. If we can find a speck of light in this, we should hold onto it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to crack on so I can go see if the deer are out.

Ver

Ups and downs of being a Borderling, someone who struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder, along with anxiety, and pretends to fit into day to day life with a child and partner.

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